Stalking is typically directed at a specific person- the victim. However, stalkers often contact the victim’s family, friends, and/or co-workers as part of their pattern of behavior. Most victims of stalking are stalked by someone they know- a current or former intimate partner, acquaintance, or family member.
Intimate partner stalkers are the most dangerous offenders. Physical abuse coupled with stalking is a greater indicator of potential lethality than either behavior alone.
As compared to non-intimate partner stalkers, intimate partner stalkers are more likely to:
Have criminal records and abuse drugs and/or alcohol
Be threatening to their victims and more likely to re-offend
Follow through on their threats of violence. For instance, one study found that 71% of the partner stalking victims who were threatened were actually assaulted, compared to 33% of the non-intimate partner stalking victims who were threatened.
Assault their victims
Contact and approach their victims more frequently
Be insulting and interfering/intrusive in the victim’s life
Use the widest range of stalking tactics
Escalate in frequency and intensity of pursuit more often
If you are being stalked, you may feel fear of what the stalker will do. You may feel vulnerable, unsafe, and not know who to trust or feel anxious, irritable, impatient, or on edge. Those who experience stalking may feel depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, tearful, or angry and they may feel isolated because other people don't understand why you are afraid.
These are common reactions to being stalked. Remember, you are not to blame for a stalker's behavior.
Statistics
The majority of stalking victims are female, however anyone can be stalked. It is estimated that 1 in 6 women and 1 in 19 men will experience stalking in their lifetime.
Women are more likely to experience stalking and most offenders are male.
2/3 of female victims are stalked by a current or former intimate partner. Men are primarily stalked by an intimate partner or an acquaintance.
Men stalking men is often target dispersion—an ex stalking their previous partner’s new partner.
18 to 24-year-olds experience the highest rates of stalking.
Unfortunately, protection orders often don’t stop the stalking behavior—81% of male victims and 69% of female victims experienced a violation of their order.
40% of the time, the stalking lasts 6 months or less- most likely because the offender has moved on to a new target/partner. However, some victims are stalked much longer. About 10% of victims have been stalked for 5 years or more.
if you or someone you love is being stalked
Trust your instincts. Don't downplay the danger. If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.
Take threats seriously. Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship.
Keep a log of the stalking. When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date, and place. Keep emails, text messages, phone messages, letters, or notes. Photograph anything of yours the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes. Ask witnesses to write down what they saw. Click here for a stalking incident and behavior log.
Tell family, friends, roommates, and co-workers about the stalking and seek their support. This includes emotional support. Tell your support system how they can help you and ask for help, you are not alone.
Take stock of your technology. Did (does) the stalker have access to your phone, computer, or technology at any point? Consider taking your devices somewhere they can be reset.
Vary routines, including changing routes to work, school, the grocery store, and other places regularly frequented. Be mindful of information you and those you know are putting out. This includes social media, the internet, and other public places.
Don't communicate with the stalker or respond to their attempts to contact you.
Inform neighbors and, if residing in an apartment, any on-site managers about the situation, providing them with a photo or description of the stalker and any vehicles they may drive if known.
When out of the house or work environment, try not to travel alone and try to stay in public areas.
Tell security staff or supervisors at your job or school. Ask them to help watch out for your safety.
Develop a safety plan. This can include things like changing your routine, arranging a place to stay, and having a friend or relative go places with you. It also includes, deciding in advance what to do if the stalker shows up at your home, work, school, or somewhere else. Click here for more safety tips and strategies.
Most importantly, remember that you are not alone. Journey Center is available 24 hours a day to listen and to help you create your own, personal safety plan. Call or text: 216.391.3457 (HELP) or text to chat.
Information for Family and Friends
Most victims of stalking talk to someone they know and trust before pursuing any sort of professional or legal help. If someone you care about reaches out to you, your response significantly impacts if they feel validated and/or seek help.
If someone you know is being stalked:
Listen to the victim and believe what they are saying.
Be supportive.
Don't blame the victim for what is happening – focus on the stalker’s actions, not on your loved one’s responses.
Explain the importance of a safety plan and documenting the behavior.
Remember that every situation is different; the victim must be the one to make choices about how to handle it.
Respect your loved one’s privacy. Do not share their story with others without permission.
Encourage the victim to seek help and resources in their community.
Check-in with your friend or family member. Stalking can last a long time and your loved one’s wants or needs will likely change over time.
No two stalking situations are alike. There are no guarantees that what works for one person will work for another. If you need non-emergency assistance, fill out this Help form. Call or text us at: 216.391.4357 (HELP) or text to chat.